***Time for another guest post from my husband Mike from Independence Financial Coaching. You might want some tissues for this one…
I think it is very safe to say that the holidays this year will be more different than any of us have ever experienced in our lifetime. Some of us have lost loved ones. Some of us have lost our jobs. Even more of us have lost both. 2020 has not been easy for many hard working, honest people trying to make a living. With everything that has happened during 2020, holiday planning for the upcoming season may seem like an overwhelming and stressful end to the year, but it does not have to be.
Holiday stress is a combination of emotional and financial stress. On the emotional front, we remember those who are no longer with us who used to be a part of our holiday celebrations. We have loved ones who we know may not be around us much longer. There are gifts to buy, charities are asking for more, and travel is both costly and more stressful than ever with all the new requirements and restrictions.
To help coach you through this upcoming holiday season, here are some ideas and inspiration to give you the tools you need to end the year with a smile and a sense of accomplishment.
Gift Giving
Giving is not supposed to be stressful. Giving is an act of love and kindness. When we feel stressed by giving, it means that we are not giving with our hearts but with our minds. It is because we feel pressured to give and not because we want to give. When we give from our hearts, giving becomes a joyful experience. It is hard to want to give during times of financial hardship. It is normal and acceptable to want to make sure that your family has food and shelter in the foreseeable future before buying gifts for anyone. This is not selfish. This is being a responsible adult.
As responsible adults, it is up to us to manage expectations with our children, our extended families and our friends about the upcoming holiday seasonal gift.
The Gift of Communication
The first step in removing giving-related stress is to communicate with your friends and loved ones. Take the lead in your holiday planning by letting them know that this year is financially challenging. Communicating with your loved ones and extended family about needing to curb the gift giving does not need to be a stressful situation. The odds are they are feeling it just as much as you. Remember, this shutdown affected the entire economy.
Making a List and Checking It Twice
If you do not have a list of people for whom you normally shop, now is the time to make one. Not in November but now. If you do have a list, now is the time to review it. Whether you are making this list for the first time or reviewing your list from last year, it is an important step to managing your gift giving. This list is not just a shopping list, however. Yes, it will be used in that way but let’s turn it into something more powerful.
Making this list is a reminder of the people in your life that you care about and who care about you. This list will remind you of those who may have passed this year or in previous years. This is a challenging exercise because of the emotion tied to it. That is ok. It is supposed to be. Take it one step further. Think of those on the list who are still living. Think of those who have passed. Think of the shared connections with both. Is there a way to give those who are still with you a cherished memory of a loved one no longer living? It could be a picture with a shared story. It could be a video of a photo collage or collection of home movies. It could be anything that brings you closer to those still living through your shared memories of those who have passed. Your list, once just a shopping list, now has meaning and purpose. The gifts you give to those on it will, too.
The Holiday Budget
Now that you have your list it will serve as a holiday budget, too. Take the list and sit down (with your spouse if married) and come up with a total budget for the holidays. Even if you have decided to spend very little money on the holidays, a budget will help you stick to that decision. Some ideas to help you stick to the budget include:
- Second Hand Gifts – Yard sales and thrift stores are good places to find items that can be repurposed. Because these gifts tend to be items of the past, it is easy to find things that spark fond memories of holidays past that may help reconnect families through cherished memories. Additionally, second hand gifts bought at yard sales may help people who need the money for their own financial challenges. Buying second hand gifts from charity-run thrift stores will allow you to give to both charitable causes and to loved ones.
- Baked Goods – One of my favorite parts of the holidays is when my wife bakes chocolate chip cookies and apple pie. Making extra and buying cookie tins at the dollar store make for a very thoughtful delicious gift. This is budget friendly but it also is more meaningful because it was made in the holiday spirit.
- Crafts – If you are the crafty sort do-it-yourself gift ideas can be a creative, cost-effective idea. If you are not the arts and crafts type, be careful as these budgets can unexpectedly get out of hand if you are nor experienced. They can eat up both time and money for the craft novice.
- Photo/Video Collage – As mentioned above, a photo/video collage of family memories can be a great way to bring families back together during challenging times. Pairing these with personal stories of fond memories and hints of creating future ones can have a lasting impact.
Holiday Travel
When communicating to friends and loved ones about the holidays, it is important to manage expectations now about travel. Given the vulnerability of the elderly to the virus this year, I am sure people in your family will understand any reluctance to travel. Still, it is important to communicate your intention to stay home for the holidays. It helps you take one more thing off your plate, and it helps them with their holiday planning of budgets for meals and activities. By now, many people are experienced web-conference users. Whether it is FaceTime or Zoom, the digital option, as burned out as many of us are by it, can be a good option to reconnect during the holidays.
When planning for a digital get together, don’t buy a fancy, voice activated device or one with a screen/camera that follow you around the room. Most phones and laptops have the technology built in. Use that, or get a simple and cost effective webcam for a fraction of the price.
Holidays are a Time of Peace, Joy, and Hope
This year, give yourself and your family permission to give gifts of the heart and not the wallet. The holiday season is meant to be a source of light in the dark of winter. Let the holidays of 2020 be a light to end this year on a positive note and set the stage for 2021 to be a year of success, prosperity, and love. You can do it. Independence Financial Coaching can help you if you need it. Schedule a free consultation with a coach to get you started.
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